For me, February is a special month because love is on the lips of many people and is celebrated worldwide. Christian, my partner, was born in February and there are many special traditions all over the world that celebrate love. You may say that you don’t believe in these kinds of rituals and it’s fine, you don’t have to. You can choose any other days to celebrate and express your love because love doesn’t care on what day it is celebrated as long as it is felt and expressed.
Even though all the things I will talk about in this article are equally effective for both women and men, I will focus more on the masculine side. Many times in the past, I found myself in situations in which I had to explain and argue the importance of small gestures, how things like a simple gift or a simple caress could melt mountains of ice and make flowers blossom.
Most of us treasure little and meaningful gestures that speak on a deeper level and convey a profound message. For women, it is almost intuitive to see and connect with everything that is behind the gestures. These things bring us joy and give us fuel to carry on when things don’t work that smoothly.
I love to express my love and imagine different ways in which I can show it. At one point, I discussed this topic with Christian to see how things are seen from the other perspective as well. We concluded that these gestures made both of us feel happier, more connected and more conscious about ourselves and our relationship. Since then, we crafted many sparkles of happiness into our life that brought a different kind of energy between us.
What Does It Mean To Love Consciously?
To love consciously means having a clear picture of the relationship you want to have. It implies knowing how you are, what you can offer to your partner, what you are willing to accept from your partner and taking active steps in those directions. It is a continuously working process in which both of you step out of your egos and more and more into love.
From my perspective, loving consciously implies many connected and equally important aspects that need to function almost simultaneously. These aspects are loving yourself, communication, showing vulnerability, and accepting your partner’s support. The intention behind expressing feelings, ideas or concerns is always out of love and empathy for the other person and rarely with the desire to disempower. Most women show love and support the best way they can, through intuition, empathy and nurturing.
There are times when we don’t know how to communicate efficiently and tend to address our partner in ways that create more frustration than support. I believe we all experienced such moments. But here is where communication intervenes to ease the process and help process the situations. I recommend reading Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, by John Gray. In this book, you will find useful information about the differences in perception and language between genders. I learned a lot from John Gray about how to communicate efficiently in a couple.
We all have wounded hearts, so we want to start working with these aspects if we aim for a peaceful and fulfilling life.
How Do Women Perceive Small Gestures?
Every time a man makes a little gesture, like caresses our faces, hugs us harder, brings a flower, or gazes into our eyes, we translate that gesture as a declaration of love. At that moment, love is reinforced. Besides feeling extremely good, we also see what is behind that gesture, and that is love.
For us, love is not something you speak about at the beginning of the relationship, and after that, you put it somewhere on a high shelf for storage. It is something alive like a plant that needs water from time to time, sun to grow, wind to stimulate its leaves, attention to blossom, and stability to expand.
When a man makes love gestures, we also know that he is connected to himself and his feelings. A man connected to his feelings is balanced, strong and vulnerable at the same time, and we adore to notice these in a man. Vulnerability is one of the most beautiful qualities a man can show to a woman. We prefer regular little expressions of love to one big thing in a whole year or, perish the thought, in years.
What Are The Little Things?
When I say little things, I mean any gesture or action that does not involve too many resources. And here I refer to everything from money to time, actions, thinking or speaking. Strong essences are kept in small bottles.
Let’s have some examples. Your loved one is putting the laundry in the washing machine, you see her and notice that even when she is doing this boring activity she is the most beautiful woman in the world for you. Express what you feel, tell her she is beautiful, or give her a passionate kiss, which makes her feel special.
Another example, you are both in the car, going to buy something from the supermarket. When you are at a traffic light, look her deeply in the eyes and tell her that you love her or that you like something about her. You are walking on the street. You notice a beautiful flower, tell her she is even more beautiful than that botanical wonder. She will feel loved and special. Let’s say she cooked you something, and you saw the amount of work and dedication she invests in that meal. Look her in the eyes and tell her that you appreciate all that she did.
These are just a few examples, but I think you can see the link between all of them. These little things can change so much the dynamic of your relationship and don’t need any extra amount of work, money or energy. They need only a conscious action from you.
Consciously Plan Your Action
Plan your action because the perfect time for hugging your loved one “just because“ will never come. We rely on spontaneity, but most of us are not spontaneous people. Days pass, months and years pass without that perfect moment ever to come. Planing gives you the liberty to craft everything as you imagine and don’t worry it’s not strange or stupid to plan your moment in fact is a sign of being conscious.
Sometimes it can feel a bit uncomfortable, or you can feel a bit clumsy, but I assure you that this will be something she will appreciate and love even more. This is your moment of vulnerability, and most women will fall in love with it.
She may reject the gesture. If this is the case, do your best not to take it personally. Maybe she is not used to it and doesn’t know how to react in such circumstances. Either way, be proud of what you did because it takes courage and love to show affection, it is something you want to be proud of.
So, if you love your partner, I dare you to take action and in the next few days make a list of gestures that express your love for her. If you read this article so far, you already have the information, and you don’t have any excuse.
Why The Little Things Are So Important?
Because they touch so many aspects and influence many lives in ways that you maybe haven’t thought about until now. Let’s get more in-depth and see exactly how.
When a man expresses his love
When you start to plan your actions, you are entering into another state of mind and spirit, entering the realm of imagination. Imagination is a neurological reality that can impact our brains and bodies in ways that matter for our well-being. Read more about how imagination works in this article.
Also, you can experience excitement, empathy, love, adrenaline, happiness, and much more. You are crafting something meant to bring a smile to the face of your dear one. When you are in this state, life has more meaning, and you invite the Universe to act the same upon you. As you already know, you attract in your life the things you think about.
The woman you address your love to
I don’t know anyone who would not have smiled when receiving a compliment, a caress, a flower or a small shell picked from some beach. These kinds of things melt our hearts, soften the ego and make us feel loved and cherished. Who on this earth does not want to feel loved and cherished?
Everyone around you
Someone who is happy and feels loved will have the same impact wherever it goes. When you receive a gesture of affection, you are so glad and at peace. You definitely can’t go and act aggressively or paranoid. You tend to be more relaxed and take everything with patience and calm in your relationship and thus with everything that comes along.
Now imagine being in this state and going to the shop. You ask for something, and the salesman answers you rudely. The tendency to react and respond in the same matter will be much, much lower. Instead, by not reacting and answering calmly, you will allow that person to hear himself and subtly invite him to calm down.
So you see what power you have and why the little things are so important? Your gesture can influence so many people around you and can give birth to so many beautiful situations. Something small that you do can affect all of us.
How To Express Love
I know we are different, and for some, it can be overwhelming or challenging to make little gestures of love. But let’s be honest sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone and start acting. Small steps can work wonders. Things can be fun and straightforward and have the most significant impact on someone.
Believe me when I say that every little thing you decide to do is also work you do upon yourself. You’re actually giving yourself a moment of consciousness, love and power that can shape you in that way you always wanted to be.
Now, take a moment to be conscious of your love, think about your relationship and the woman you love. You want all the best for her, no? So you’re willing to do anything to see her smile. If it’s true, below you can find a few easy and romantic ideas in which you can express your love.
Write on a piece of paper what you feel about her or what you appreciate about her.
Anything works, from a detailed letter to a simple “I love you” or “Thank you for…” written on a post-it. Draw something on it even if it is not a perfect drawing, it’s an authentic expression of your love. She will smile and appreciate the courage and vulnerability you invested. We know it is not easy for men to express their feelings, but this is an effortless way to do it. Any word or sentence in this direction works and is more than perfect.
Place that paper at her reach, in her pocket, on her agenda, on the mirror, on the windshield, so this will be among the first things she sees in the morning. I guarantee you it will make her day.
Give a massage
You will be surprised what a foot massage can do. Every one of us is different. Some people like to be massaged, others don’t. If you are not 100% sure that your partner hates it, I challenge you to do it. Foot massage improves blood circulation, helps in relaxation, promotes better sleep, relieves body pains, improves mood and fights depression. To enumerate just a few of the benefits.
I have days when Christian is waking me up with a foot massage. I can’t put into words how good it makes me feel. It is one of the best ways I can start my day. It also brings us closer, makes me peaceful and grateful for the incredible man I have beside me.
Make breakfast and take it to bed.
Don’t overthink and over-complicate what you have in your fridge: butter, milk, jam, cheese, a cup of tea or coffee, a flower or a leaf you have in your home. You can also go and buy breakfast from a local bistro before she wakes up. In this way, you also support a local business. If you have an interest in supporting local businesses, see my article about this Locally Sourced Food.
If you want to make the breakfast unique, you can plan, and buy-in advanced fresh fruits, a flower, natural orange juice, a special kind of cheese, or anything you know she likes. You can also prepare an easy and healthy new recipe for her. If you lack ideas check out this 4 Easy Chia Seeds Recipes.
What she will appreciate is the time you invested in planning and organising the breakfast. If she doesn’t like to eat in the morning, do it anyway. I repeat, she will appreciate the gesture and will eat what you prepared later.
Which is her favourite sweet?
Go ahead and buy it and place it somewhere where she least expected it. For example in the car to find it the next morning when she goes to work or in her pocket or somewhere where you know she will see it.
You can find out more about her passions.
Find out more about one subject that she is passionate about. Let’s say she likes knowing everything about aliens. Go on the internet, search the topic, find out the latest news and speak with her about the article you read. She will be more than happy to talk about her passion, and she will feel that you value, appreciate and respect her interests. You don’t have to pretend to love the subject, but you can be curious about it and enjoy her enthusiasm.
Again, everyone wins. You, because you found out something new and created a context for healthy communication and your loved one who felt understood and happy.
Make a cup of tea
If you see your partner tired or stressed, about a particular job, make a cup of tea that you know she loves and offer it to her. Tell her that you see that she is stressed, sad, whatever the feeling she is experiencing, and reassure her that you are there for her if she needs you. Look into her eyes with gentleness when you say these things, kiss her and walk away to create the space for her to evaluate the situation.
If she needs your help, she will come to you and say. If she doesn’t need your help, she will come anyway because she will find in you a source of peace and comfort that will love to feel.
Play a game
If you want something more complex, you can try and play a game. Write four messages and place them in different places so that each message will direct her to the next one. So, the first message put it somewhere where she can see it. Write the rules of the game. How many envelopes she has to discover, how much time she has until she needs to be in the next place, whatever you think is essential to make the game go smoothly.
Second envelope in the mailbox. Third, at her favourite coffee shop, she receives a coffee, her favourite sweet and the next envelope. She will receive the fourth envelope at the flower shop along with a flower. This last envelope will direct her to the place where you are waiting for her.
Can you imagine the emotion that will go through your body only by planning all of this? The adrenaline, the thrill, the messages you craft? Your loved one will feel so special because you created all of this just for her. Can you also think about the smile on the face of the people you will involve in this process? It is something so beautiful that it will make them feel part of something special.
You may say that yeah, all of this is cliché by now because it has been written about countless times. It is possible, yes. But let’s put this aside and think about how many times you did something like this. If we read about it many times and didn’t put any effort into applying them or finding our expression methods, it doesn’t count. Don’t hide behind words and labels instead start imagining and act.
You may think that all of these are cute, but this doesn’t happen in the real world. Everything I mentioned above is what both me and Christian did in our relationship. All of these brought us closer and created moments of joy that can’t ever be expressed in words. So I challenge you to try them and see how it works for you in your relationship. You don’t have anything to lose, just to win. Please don’t take my word for granted and experiment by yourself, and see what happens.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope that you found in my ideas at least one thing that sparkled a glimpse of the desire to act and experiment. I opened the doors of my relationship to share with you something that made both Christian and I more connected and conscious about one another and our relationship. If we created such moments and experienced happiness and joy, you definitely can too.
Get out of your comfort zone and start expressing, start creating, and show your love. Be vulnerable, express your love, and you will be surprised to see how your relationship will evolve, and we will all enjoy a better world. If you ever thought about how to make the world a better place well now, you know how.