Romantic Love » Mushroom Dana

Romantic Love / February 22, 2022

Night Habit for a Healthy Relationship. With Yourself or Your Partner.

One of the most important aspects of a relationship, whether we are talking about a romantic relationship or our relationship with ourselves, are the habits we embrace. Habits are part of our daily lives, even if we want them or not.

Life is a constant process of learning and unlearning things, so it is better to design new habits that can help us thrive and unlearn the old ones that no longer serve our current purpose and views.

night habit healthy relationship

Creating new habits

First, I want to propose a new perception about creating new habits. Most of us have been taught to believe that adopting a new habit is something that is very hard. Well, I challenge you to contest this affirmation. If creating new habits were so difficult, then smoking, unhealthy eating, alcohol drinking and so on would not be so widespread.

It is our perceptions that make any new habit difficult or easy to install. So, the next time you choose to create a new practice, think about the process as challenging rather than hard. Challenge gives you the motivation to go on and experiment while hard; it just stops you before you even start. night habit healthy relationship

Healthy habit before bed night habit healthy relationship

Almost a year ago, I proposed to Christian to make a few changes in our night routine in order to offer ourselves some time together. When you have a kid that demands a lot of your attention besides the things you do daily, spending meaningful time with your partner can be a bit tricky.

Christian and I decided to, as often as possible, go to sleep at the same time and ask each other five questions before we sleep.

This habit can work just as well in a relationship with a partner as in a relationship with yourself. If you don’t have a partner or you can’t do it with your partner that’s ok, you can be your own partner and ask yourself these questions before you sleep.

Why before sleep? So you can end your day in a positive way, and show yourself some love and appreciation. Also, to wake up in the morning feeling more grateful and happy for the new day.

Questions we ask before we fall asleep

1. What made you feel good or smile today?

Unfortunately, most of us have been conditioned to think and complain about the things that are not going well in our lives. Rather than seeing and appreciating the events that made us feel good in a day. Especially if they are small events like someone giving you priority in traffic or noticing a flower and enjoying its beauty for a couple of seconds.

I think we are too caught up in our lives and waiting for big events to happen, which makes us miss the little moments that are, in fact, the basis of life.

For me, the answer I gave to these questions on many occasions showed me how blessed I am for having Arun. He is almost always my answer on the most challenging and depressing days and even on the good days. Even though he stretches my nerves many times throughout the day, somehow, he still makes me smile every day.

It was fascinating to discover that even if it felt like I was finishing the worst day of my life, I still had that moment of joy that I had completely forgotten about.

2. What would you do differently?

Rather than blame ourselves for the things that didn’t work as wished for during the day, it’s better if we think of them in a constructive manner. Let’s be clear, what is done can’t be undone. But what we learn in the process can be life-changing. It can help us not repeat the same patterns and create new approaches that are more in line with our current selves. We can learn how to bring balance into our lives.

So, ask yourself or your partner, what would you have done differently so that things would have had a different trajectory? For you and the rest of the entities involved.

We want to give ourselves time to reflect on our actions in a conscious way. Don’t you agree?

3. What did you like about yourself today?

Too often, we judge and blame ourselves for the things that we haven’t done or that we would have wanted to do differently.

We often get lost in the thoughts and judgments that only create a distorted impression about ourselves. In order to have an accurate perception of ourselves, we have to be honest with ourselves. For example, we have to acknowledge and give ourselves credit for what we have done well in our lives.

So what better time to look and appreciate those things, if not before we go to bed? This way, we will remain with a conscious perception about ourselves that will translate into better sleep and a positive start for the next day.

night habit healthy relationship

4. What are you grateful for?

Sometimes this question may seem like it has no response, especially if we had a hard day, week, month, year. Still, even in the most difficult times of our lives, we can find something to be grateful for. If you are not used to practising gratitude, it can feel strange and even fake.

In the beginning, when I started practising gratitude, it felt so unnatural. It was as if I was lying to myself. It took me months before I started saying and feeling at the same time that I was grateful for a glass of water, for example.

On those nights, when you feel you have nothing to be grateful for, start small. Say that you are thankful for the bed you are lying in, for the pillow you have under your head. The little toe of your right foot that helps you keep your balance. For breathing and having the opportunity to shift everything as you did many times before. Once you start, you will find endless reasons to be grateful for. The start is the challenging part.

In his book, The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time, researcher Alex Korb writes, “One powerful effect of gratitude is that it can boost serotonin.”

Serotonin is a chemical produced by our bodies that contributes to feelings of well-being. It stabilises our mood and helps us feel more relaxed. It is often called the Happiness Chemical.

5. What are your intentions for tomorrow?

This question is meant to give us a direction for the next day. It helps us focus on what matters and not let ourselves get caught up in the uncertainty of a new day.

It doesn’t work every time. We still have days when we remember our intentions when we go to bed and ask the question the next day.

Still, even this is okay because it makes us more conscious about our unconsciousness. Moreover, it gives us plenty of opportunities to practice being more aware of our words and intentions.

How has this habit translated into our relationship?

These questions had a significant impact on our relationship on many levels, some of which I am aware of now, as I wrote this post. Since we started this practise, we went through all sorts of feelings, reactions and understandings.

We had moments when we were so tired or disappointed that we forced ourselves to find something that made us feel good that day. We had to really look deep into the day to discover a moment of happiness. There were also times when we just had to accept that we didn’t notice any single moment of joy.

We have also had moments where we had so much fun with these questions laughing to tears while also trying not to wake up Arun. But, most of the time, I can describe our habits as a conscious part of our days. That moment in which we release the pressure we have accumulated over the day, learn from our mistakes and lift one another.

I cherish these moments tremendously because we learned so much about one another and individually. We give ourselves new perspectives and reasons to wake up with joy and hunger for life.

When I look at us now, I see two people who are more peaceful, have learned to admit when they are wrong and are keener to see the good in bad. We are more conscious parents and more willing to learn new things.

In life, there are things that happen by themselves and there are things that we have to create the context for them to expand. It is necessary to nourish our relationships in conscious ways in order for them to thrive and blossom.

night habit healthy relationship

Final words

The questions I have chosen for these habits are what worked for us. You can create your own questions depending on your intentions and needs. There is no fixed thing to apply.

Still, if you feel they resonate with you and speak directly to your soul, I invite you to try applying them to your life. Write to me if they had any impact on you. It will bring me so much joy to know if what I shared with you was helpful.

Habits have the power to break us or transform our lives.

night habit healthy relationship new habit

Remember to love yourself,

night habit h

ealthy relationship

Romantic Love / April 7, 2021

How to Support Your Partner when He Experiences Sadness

what to do when yur partner experiences sadness

Even though sadness feels the same for both women and men, the reaction to sadness is quite different. As I said in my previous article, What To Do When The Woman You Love Is Sad, sadness is an experience that needs to be felt, understood, accepted and released. It’s a healthy process that allows us to transform sadness into wisdom.

When they experience sadness, most men tend to close themselves, become rigid, less communicative, and sometimes even rude. This does not apply to all. Some men know their feelings and have learnt how to work with them gently. I believe we enter an area in which suppressed feelings can no longer be held under leash, so we want to learn how to deal with them and regain our inner peace.

Over decades, women were conditioned to feel small and insignificant while men were forced to suppress their emotions. We live in a world where extremes often cause us suffering, health problems, loneliness and disconnection. Being over-emotional or indifferent are two extremes that often live under the same roof, so we need to create a balance between them. We want to learn to be emotional and firm at the same time.

Women know in their gut that talking about a situation can diminish its intensity and make it less heavy. Men are not used to expressing their feelings, worries and concerns, so it’s complicated for them to start talking. They lack the expressions to communicate what they feel. Yes, they know the words, but let’s face it, how often do you hear a man saying, “Today, I experienced such intense emotions at the office. I felt stressed, angry, disappointed and lonely. All-day, I thought about what happened, and now I feel exhausted and sad.” More often, we hear “It’s not a big deal, it will pass” or “I just feel a little tired.”

So, what do we do when such moments arise? Take a look at these seven insights and if you resonate with them, put them into practice and see how it goes.

1. Ask a few questions

Not too many, just a few for you to have a glimpse of what is happening.

I believe you are familiar with the expression “boys don’t cry.” Sadness, happiness, anger, fear, trust are all part of the human experience. It doesn’t matter if you are a woman or a man. We all feel these emotions. The difference lies in the way we learned to react to them. Men tend to close themselves out and try stuffing their feelings inside because this is the way they know how to deal with them.

Imagination exercise

Take a step back, and let’s have an imagination exercise. Try to see your partner when he was a child, playing with his bicycle, for example. At one point, he loses his balance and falls, rubbing his knees. His knees hurt, his palms sting, and he is a little scared from the fall. He cries. His father comes, helps him get up and says, “Oh, don’t be such a girl. It’s not a big deal. It will pass.”

If we analyse the words and the message sent, we can see that there is a comparison between genders and that a subtle idea that girls are weak is implemented in the boy’s mind “Oh, don’t be such a girl.”

They didn’t discuss his feelings, and the fact that he was scared and needed comfort, passed unnoticed, “it’s not a big deal.” He was forced to deal with his feelings by himself.

Also, the resolution of the situation is placed somewhere in the future – it will pass. The present moment and his feelings didn’t get the necessary attention. He was thrown somewhere in the future where everything should be ok at some point. Yes, everything will be fine at one point, but for this to happen, the present moment and the situation needs to be felt, addressed, understood and released. Now, think about how many times this kind of situation happened throughout his life. Come back in the present and look at your partner through these lenses.

There are times when you felt that your partner didn’t sympathise with a situation you went through? Did he ever told you, “why are you so stressed? It’s not a big deal” or something similar? If the answer is yes, then now you know where they came from. These are the patterns that govern some of his reactions.

Return to the starting point while having all this in mind. Ask a few questions, read between the lines what is happening with him, and you will know what to do next.

2. Be peaceful

You will want to take a few seconds for yourself and enter a peaceful state. These kinds of moments in which your partner experiences sadness can be overwhelming and challenging to deal with. We want all the best for our partners, and when they suffer, we suffer along with them. This is a sign of empathy and care. We, as women, are more familiar with understanding our feelings. We also know how to deal with them naturally, we cry and we let our emotions unfold. Furthermore, we analyse, we express, we forgive, and we release.

Still, this can sometimes be a blind spot for us because the situation we address when our partners are sad is not a normal one. In most cases, we deal with a peculiar situation in which our partners are disconnected from themselves and their feelings. So what is normal for us is very strange for them.

This is where we want to rise above and see the situation from different perspectives to have a proper approach. Now we begin to understand what our role is in this journey through his sadness.

First of all, we want to encourage them to feel what they feel. Sadness is one of our best teachers, and if we dive deep inside her, we can find something that nothing and no one could ever explain or give us. Something so personal and transformative that will wipe away any kind of emotion we had until then. A change that would even make us feel grateful for the experience.

No one told us how to deal with sadness or any other kind of feelings. We developed this protection mechanism in which we run away, and distract ourselves by any means in order to not feel sad. This is because we don’t know how to cope with our emotions.

Therefore we can share our wisdom and understanding about emotions and offer our partners gentle support. But to do so, we want to be at peace with ourselves, so we can have clarity and patience to face the challenges we will encounter.

3. Do your magic

After you figure out what is happening, start creating a peaceful and balanced atmosphere. This is something that works at a subtle level. Calm and clean environments help us to relieve stress and be happier.

Put a few drops of lavender into a diffuser, make a tea or just give him a massage to help him loosen up a bit and to shift his focus to his body instead of his problem. Do everything that you know will help him relax. When we are relaxed, the stressful situation in which we find ourselves is less oppressive and much clearer.

4. Connect through touch

Skin-to-skin contact is vital for our mental, physical and emotional health. When we feel snowed and under pressure, our bodies release cortisol which is a stress hormone. One of the biggest things touch can do is to reduce the level of cortisol released in our bodies while also allowing the immune system to work properly.

However, when the man next to us is experiencing sadness, it can be challenging to connect with him because he tends to shut down and reject any kind of interaction. In this case, our actions and gestures need to be as subtle and gentle as our souls. We can naturally touch his hand, place our hand gently on his back, caress his face and if you feel it’s ok, hug him. Hug him with your arms but especially with your soul. Close your eyes and imagine how you embrace him with all the love you have for him. This is a powerful visualisation exercise that will help both of you.

This kind of actions work on a subtle level, don’t expect him to come running into your arms suddenly. But do trust that these little sparkles of comfort build a bridge of trust and communication between you two. When he will be ready, he will come into the arms that offered him comfort.

This is how you build trust and a genuine connection in your relationship. These are important moments for both of you because now you align yourself with the profound meaning of a man and a woman’s relationship.

When Christian and I went through such a moment, it wasn’t easy at all. I had my old patterns. He had his old patterns, and this dance was quite tiring for me. But once we decide to act differently, despite our egotistical traits, the transformation and connection between us met a new dimension.

Once you open this door, it will be much easier to navigate future events with more awareness and openness.

5. Watch out for a perfect moment

Don’t expect him to come to you and say that he wants to speak his heart out as we do. The way men come to talk to us is much subtle and bypassing. You will want to pay attention to everything, his gesture, his words, his eyes. He will start speaking about a different subject just to get to a point where he will start talking about the real issue.

Or he will stay near you, asking all sorts of irrelevant questions that have nothing to do with the motive of his sadness. Now it’s a good time to ask light but on-topic questions like:

I’ve noticed that something is bothering you. Is it true?
Do you want to talk about it?
If the answer is NO, you stop right there and go back to number 4.
If the answer is yes or unclear, go further with the questions.
What happened? Let him speak until he finishes, interrupt his flow only if you have questions that will help you understand the situation.
What do you feel about this?
How did you think to approach the situation?
If you have an idea or an opinion, address it with a question. Have you thought of…? Did you try to…? But it’s best to let him ask you if he needs your opinion.

Spotting the right moment in which he decides to go with the flow and have the conversation is quite important. Not being so familiar with talking about their emotions, the moment can feel tense and awkward sometimes. Still, these questions invite to a discussion in a gentle manner that helps him open up and talk about his thoughts and feelings.

6. Speak less, listen more

Our role in this process is to act as guides. To create the proper environment for our partners to speak and hear themselves out. As you already know, an idea sounds in a way in our heads, but most of the time, some crucial aspects can shift when we speak it out. Most of the work is done if we can just create an environment where they can hear their thoughts.

You will want to listen to him actively. Active listening means listening intently to gain understanding instead of passively hearing what the other person is saying.

You can try a communication technique called Mirroring. Mirroring helps you move from observation to question. First, you state what you observe about the other person. For example, “You seem sad today.” Then you ask a follow-up question. You could ask, “Is there something bothering you?”

Another technique you could use is Paraphrasing. Paraphrasing helps ensure you understood what the other person said. You paraphrase by summarizing what you heard in your own words. For example, you could say, “So what you said is…” or “What I’m hearing is…” and then fill in the blank.

7. Don’t take it personally

An essential part of this process is not to take it personally. If he decides to open up at one point or remain closed, have in mind that there are two people involved. There are two dancers, and each has to do his/her part of giving and receiving. You can not give and also receive in his place.

So you want to respect his decision, even if the decision is unconscious, and not force him. You focus on your part, emotions, reactions, and gestures and don’t get caught in his sadness. Pay attention to this subtle dance and let your partner make some moves too. I believe this is the hardest part of all, but it is also the most important.

His sadness is trying to teach him something, and he has to deal with it. It’s not your job to fix it or even to understand it completely. As I said above, our job is to be guides, to be that guardian angel who always wants his best, and offer support in the journey of self-understanding.

Final Words

Walking with someone in sadness is not an easy thing to do. It requires patience, awareness, intuition and communication skills. It can also be a declaration of love and trust on both sides if they work together and not against each other out of love for each other. When this happens, the connection they form can transform the relationship.

I do believe that we are here to help, support and love one another. Even though suffering is sometimes necessary and part of our more profound understanding, none of us wants to see our loved one suffering. What we can do, though, is to walk that path together and ease our journeys. Weight is lighter when carried in two.

We want to start bringing more awareness, compassion and openness in the moments of suffering because, in those moments, we can truly and deeply expand ourselves and our relationships.

If you found this information to be helpful, please leave a comment below. I will be more than happy to read your thoughts, and I will appreciate your support and trust.

Remember to love yourself,

Romantic Love / March 25, 2021

What to do when the Woman You Love is Sad

It is ok to feel sad. There is nothing wrong with it as long as we don’t dwell in that state. Being sad is an experience that needs to be felt, understood, accepted and released. We give ourselves the space to process everything and make the most out of the experience.

When our partner is sad, we also experience sadness. We are willing to do anything to make them feel better, but we often fail to offer the support they need. We try to give solutions, we judge, don’t actively listen, or jump to conclusions when our partner only wants to be heard or hugged. In this way, we only make the situation worse because we push our loved one even deeper into sadness, and we begin to feel wounded.

Women and men behave and address their emotions differently. Usually, the things that apply to women when it comes to comfort don’t apply to men. The way we support our partners when they experience sadness is a bit different from the way we prefer to deal with such moments. This article will focus on how men can help their partners when feeling sad. Although it is good for both to talk about their emotions, the paths to get there are different.

Ask questions

Being well informed can help you a lot in knowing how to position yourself. We are all different, and we want and need other things depending on the situation. To know exactly what to do, you have to ask. If she knows, she will tell you. Pay attention to her answers and try figuring out what she needs because there may be times when she will be confused or not know where and how to start speaking. So you might want to guide her through the process.

Questions to ask

I noticed that you’re a little quiet and thoughtful. How are you feeling? Are you sad?
Do you want to talk about it?
What happened?
Is there anything I can help you with?
Do you need a hug?
Do you need to be alone?

Create the environment for her to open up

When you experience sadness, it can be difficult to start talking about your emotions when; you feed your kids. Your partner is engaged in another activity, scrolling the internet, for example, or when other people are around.

Choose wisely the moment you want to go deeper into the discussion. Create a cosy atmosphere, make tea, play calm music, loosen up the tension. Make light conversation so she can start speaking and not needing to power her heart out right away. It is almost impossible when you are sad to start talking about your emotions instantly. It’s not as easy as pressing a switch. She would need a bit of time to open up.

If you are in a public space, and you can’t talk about it at that moment, take her hand or give her a warm look. She will know from your eyes that you are there for her, and this will offer the comfort she needs until you can talk.

Give her a glass of water

When you are sad, you tend to close yourself, not breathe correctly, forget to drink water, have no appetite, or eat unconsciously. These actions only make sadness stronger and overwhelming.

An excellent way to loosen up the chatting and pressure in her mind is to give her a glass of water. It is a simple gesture that has so much meaning in it. It shows her that you are there and that you care, helps her body relax and invites closeness. You will be amazed at how much a glass of water can do.

Give her a hug

Nothing compares with a warm and long hug. In those moments, the whole world stops. You feel your sadness profoundly, but you also feel the comfort and the abandonment in sorrow. It feels like you permitted yourself to be sad, you don’t fight it, and you accept it. You just feel it.

At the same time, you feel the arms that are holding you and your sadness. Those strong arms transform the sadness into a profound connection between the two souls who hold each other. It is a moment of presence and peace.

Deep healing is taking place in those moments. The woman heals her sadness, the man experiences compassion and empathy, and the object or person standing at the other end of the sadness is released.

Things do not always turn out the way we want, and this can awaken sadness. But when you give yourself a reason to feel it, you take responsibility for your actions and thoughts. You own your sorrow and disappointments. You heal them and convert them into wisdom.

It’s a transformational process, and one of the keys that can open this door is a warm and long hug.

Be available

If you tried to speak with your loved one and she wasn’t ready, know for sure that she will come to talk to you when she feels prepared. You need to be available for her at that moment. Don’t close the door if she wasn’t ready in the first place, be there for her when she feels prepared.

Also, it may happen that she will need to discuss her sadness several times until she will feel like she understood everything. Offer her the time and attention she needs.

Don’t take it personally

If she doesn’t know what she wants or responds to you rudely, don’t take it personally, it has nothing to do with you. She may be so deep in her sadness that she will feel lost or overwhelmed and snap or not hear what you had said.

At this moment, take a step back. If you feel wounded, give yourself space to deal with your emotions and try connecting with her later. If you know that her reaction doesn’t have anything to do with you, also take a step back.

Give her space to process the situation. In almost all cases, she will come to you and tell you what it was all about.

Be open

At that moment, be open and mindful about what she will say. This moment is crucial because, in such moments, we are vulnerable. We open our hearts and speak from a deep place inside us.

In such a moment, a connection starts to take shape, women and men heal each other, and the relationship begins to form deep and strong roots. When Christian and I have moments like this, something magical is happening. Something shifts, and the bond between us becomes stronger and lighter.

Now, when I feel sad, even though the feeling is the same, I feel it’s less overwhelming. I know and sense that Christian is right by my side, ready to walk with me in sadness, and this is priceless.

Wrap it up

We are here to learn and help each other out and be compassionate and supportive. Relationships get stronger and profound when we know that we are not alone and that we are understood and accepted.

Women and men behave differently and need different approaches. If we understand this, we can help each other more and reduce lots of tense moments.

Be patient and curious to understand the woman beside you. Create a safe environment for her, where she can connect with her feelings and with you. Know her pace. Offer the space she needs while also being available and supportive. Don’t let her dive into her suffering alone.

Remind her from time to time that you are there for her and that she is not alone. This will keep her grounded and not prey to her own thoughts. And don’t try to fix things. Most people just want to be heard. Give your feedback and solutions only if she asks you.

Be sure that you will know exactly how to read the subtleties that lie behind each situation with time and practice. You will know exactly what questions to ask, how to be there for her and how to express your care and affection.

I wish you well, and remember to love yourself.

Romantic Love / February 11, 2021

How Can Men Express Their Love? 7 Easy Ideas

For me, February is a special month because love is on the lips of many people and is celebrated worldwide. Christian, my partner, was born in February and there are many special traditions all over the world that celebrate love. You may say that you don’t believe in these kinds of rituals and it’s fine, you don’t have to. You can choose any other days to celebrate and express your love because love doesn’t care on what day it is celebrated as long as it is felt and expressed.

Even though all the things I will talk about in this article are equally effective for both women and men, I will focus more on the masculine side. Many times in the past, I found myself in situations in which I had to explain and argue the importance of small gestures, how things like a simple gift or a simple caress could melt mountains of ice and make flowers blossom.

Most of us treasure little and meaningful gestures that speak on a deeper level and convey a profound message. For women, it is almost intuitive to see and connect with everything that is behind the gestures. These things bring us joy and give us fuel to carry on when things don’t work that smoothly.

I love to express my love and imagine different ways in which I can show it. At one point, I discussed this topic with Christian to see how things are seen from the other perspective as well. We concluded that these gestures made both of us feel happier, more connected and more conscious about ourselves and our relationship. Since then, we crafted many sparkles of happiness into our life that brought a different kind of energy between us.

What Does It Mean To Love Consciously?

To love consciously means having a clear picture of the relationship you want to have. It implies knowing how you are, what you can offer to your partner, what you are willing to accept from your partner and taking active steps in those directions. It is a continuously working process in which both of you step out of your egos and more and more into love.

From my perspective, loving consciously implies many connected and equally important aspects that need to function almost simultaneously. These aspects are loving yourself, communication, showing vulnerability, and accepting your partner’s support. The intention behind expressing feelings, ideas or concerns is always out of love and empathy for the other person and rarely with the desire to disempower. Most women show love and support the best way they can, through intuition, empathy and nurturing.

There are times when we don’t know how to communicate efficiently and tend to address our partner in ways that create more frustration than support. I believe we all experienced such moments. But here is where communication intervenes to ease the process and help process the situations. I recommend reading Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, by John Gray. In this book, you will find useful information about the differences in perception and language between genders. I learned a lot from John Gray about how to communicate efficiently in a couple.

We all have wounded hearts, so we want to start working with these aspects if we aim for a peaceful and fulfilling life.

How Do Women Perceive Small Gestures?

Every time a man makes a little gesture, like caresses our faces, hugs us harder, brings a flower, or gazes into our eyes, we translate that gesture as a declaration of love. At that moment, love is reinforced. Besides feeling extremely good, we also see what is behind that gesture, and that is love.

For us, love is not something you speak about at the beginning of the relationship, and after that, you put it somewhere on a high shelf for storage. It is something alive like a plant that needs water from time to time, sun to grow, wind to stimulate its leaves, attention to blossom, and stability to expand.

When a man makes love gestures, we also know that he is connected to himself and his feelings. A man connected to his feelings is balanced, strong and vulnerable at the same time, and we adore to notice these in a man. Vulnerability is one of the most beautiful qualities a man can show to a woman. We prefer regular little expressions of love to one big thing in a whole year or, perish the thought, in years.

What Are The Little Things?

When I say little things, I mean any gesture or action that does not involve too many resources. And here I refer to everything from money to time, actions, thinking or speaking. Strong essences are kept in small bottles.

Let’s have some examples. Your loved one is putting the laundry in the washing machine, you see her and notice that even when she is doing this boring activity she is the most beautiful woman in the world for you. Express what you feel, tell her she is beautiful, or give her a passionate kiss, which makes her feel special.

Another example, you are both in the car, going to buy something from the supermarket. When you are at a traffic light, look her deeply in the eyes and tell her that you love her or that you like something about her. You are walking on the street. You notice a beautiful flower, tell her she is even more beautiful than that botanical wonder. She will feel loved and special. Let’s say she cooked you something, and you saw the amount of work and dedication she invests in that meal. Look her in the eyes and tell her that you appreciate all that she did.

These are just a few examples, but I think you can see the link between all of them. These little things can change so much the dynamic of your relationship and don’t need any extra amount of work, money or energy. They need only a conscious action from you.

Consciously Plan Your Action

Plan your action because the perfect time for hugging your loved one “just because“ will never come. We rely on spontaneity, but most of us are not spontaneous people. Days pass, months and years pass without that perfect moment ever to come. Planing gives you the liberty to craft everything as you imagine and don’t worry it’s not strange or stupid to plan your moment in fact is a sign of being conscious.

Sometimes it can feel a bit uncomfortable, or you can feel a bit clumsy, but I assure you that this will be something she will appreciate and love even more. This is your moment of vulnerability, and most women will fall in love with it.

She may reject the gesture. If this is the case, do your best not to take it personally. Maybe she is not used to it and doesn’t know how to react in such circumstances. Either way, be proud of what you did because it takes courage and love to show affection, it is something you want to be proud of.

So, if you love your partner, I dare you to take action and in the next few days make a list of gestures that express your love for her. If you read this article so far, you already have the information, and you don’t have any excuse.

Why The Little Things Are So Important?

Because they touch so many aspects and influence many lives in ways that you maybe haven’t thought about until now. Let’s get more in-depth and see exactly how.

When a man expresses his love

When you start to plan your actions, you are entering into another state of mind and spirit, entering the realm of imagination. Imagination is a neurological reality that can impact our brains and bodies in ways that matter for our well-being. Read more about how imagination works in this article.

Also, you can experience excitement, empathy, love, adrenaline, happiness, and much more. You are crafting something meant to bring a smile to the face of your dear one. When you are in this state, life has more meaning, and you invite the Universe to act the same upon you. As you already know, you attract in your life the things you think about.

The woman you address your love to

I don’t know anyone who would not have smiled when receiving a compliment, a caress, a flower or a small shell picked from some beach. These kinds of things melt our hearts, soften the ego and make us feel loved and cherished. Who on this earth does not want to feel loved and cherished?

Everyone around you

Someone who is happy and feels loved will have the same impact wherever it goes. When you receive a gesture of affection, you are so glad and at peace. You definitely can’t go and act aggressively or paranoid. You tend to be more relaxed and take everything with patience and calm in your relationship and thus with everything that comes along.

Now imagine being in this state and going to the shop. You ask for something, and the salesman answers you rudely. The tendency to react and respond in the same matter will be much, much lower. Instead, by not reacting and answering calmly, you will allow that person to hear himself and subtly invite him to calm down.

So you see what power you have and why the little things are so important? Your gesture can influence so many people around you and can give birth to so many beautiful situations. Something small that you do can affect all of us.

How To Express Love

I know we are different, and for some, it can be overwhelming or challenging to make little gestures of love. But let’s be honest sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone and start acting. Small steps can work wonders. Things can be fun and straightforward and have the most significant impact on someone.

Believe me when I say that every little thing you decide to do is also work you do upon yourself. You’re actually giving yourself a moment of consciousness, love and power that can shape you in that way you always wanted to be.

Now, take a moment to be conscious of your love, think about your relationship and the woman you love. You want all the best for her, no? So you’re willing to do anything to see her smile. If it’s true, below you can find a few easy and romantic ideas in which you can express your love.

Write on a piece of paper what you feel about her or what you appreciate about her.

Anything works, from a detailed letter to a simple “I love you” or “Thank you for…” written on a post-it. Draw something on it even if it is not a perfect drawing, it’s an authentic expression of your love. She will smile and appreciate the courage and vulnerability you invested. We know it is not easy for men to express their feelings, but this is an effortless way to do it. Any word or sentence in this direction works and is more than perfect.

Place that paper at her reach, in her pocket, on her agenda, on the mirror, on the windshield, so this will be among the first things she sees in the morning. I guarantee you it will make her day.

Give a massage

You will be surprised what a foot massage can do. Every one of us is different. Some people like to be massaged, others don’t. If you are not 100% sure that your partner hates it, I challenge you to do it. Foot massage improves blood circulation, helps in relaxation, promotes better sleep, relieves body pains, improves mood and fights depression. To enumerate just a few of the benefits.

I have days when Christian is waking me up with a foot massage. I can’t put into words how good it makes me feel. It is one of the best ways I can start my day. It also brings us closer, makes me peaceful and grateful for the incredible man I have beside me.

Make breakfast and take it to bed.

Don’t overthink and over-complicate what you have in your fridge: butter, milk, jam, cheese, a cup of tea or coffee, a flower or a leaf you have in your home. You can also go and buy breakfast from a local bistro before she wakes up. In this way, you also support a local business. If you have an interest in supporting local businesses, see my article about this Locally Sourced Food.

If you want to make the breakfast unique, you can plan, and buy-in advanced fresh fruits, a flower, natural orange juice, a special kind of cheese, or anything you know she likes. You can also prepare an easy and healthy new recipe for her. If you lack ideas check out this 4 Easy Chia Seeds Recipes.

What she will appreciate is the time you invested in planning and organising the breakfast. If she doesn’t like to eat in the morning, do it anyway. I repeat, she will appreciate the gesture and will eat what you prepared later.

Which is her favourite sweet?

Go ahead and buy it and place it somewhere where she least expected it. For example in the car to find it the next morning when she goes to work or in her pocket or somewhere where you know she will see it.

You can find out more about her passions.

Find out more about one subject that she is passionate about. Let’s say she likes knowing everything about aliens. Go on the internet, search the topic, find out the latest news and speak with her about the article you read. She will be more than happy to talk about her passion, and she will feel that you value, appreciate and respect her interests. You don’t have to pretend to love the subject, but you can be curious about it and enjoy her enthusiasm.

Again, everyone wins. You, because you found out something new and created a context for healthy communication and your loved one who felt understood and happy.

Make a cup of tea

If you see your partner tired or stressed, about a particular job, make a cup of tea that you know she loves and offer it to her. Tell her that you see that she is stressed, sad, whatever the feeling she is experiencing, and reassure her that you are there for her if she needs you. Look into her eyes with gentleness when you say these things, kiss her and walk away to create the space for her to evaluate the situation.

If she needs your help, she will come to you and say. If she doesn’t need your help, she will come anyway because she will find in you a source of peace and comfort that will love to feel.

Play a game

If you want something more complex, you can try and play a game. Write four messages and place them in different places so that each message will direct her to the next one. So, the first message put it somewhere where she can see it. Write the rules of the game. How many envelopes she has to discover, how much time she has until she needs to be in the next place, whatever you think is essential to make the game go smoothly.

Second envelope in the mailbox. Third, at her favourite coffee shop, she receives a coffee, her favourite sweet and the next envelope. She will receive the fourth envelope at the flower shop along with a flower. This last envelope will direct her to the place where you are waiting for her.

Can you imagine the emotion that will go through your body only by planning all of this? The adrenaline, the thrill, the messages you craft? Your loved one will feel so special because you created all of this just for her. Can you also think about the smile on the face of the people you will involve in this process? It is something so beautiful that it will make them feel part of something special.

You may say that yeah, all of this is cliché by now because it has been written about countless times. It is possible, yes. But let’s put this aside and think about how many times you did something like this. If we read about it many times and didn’t put any effort into applying them or finding our expression methods, it doesn’t count. Don’t hide behind words and labels instead start imagining and act.

Final Words

You may think that all of these are cute, but this doesn’t happen in the real world. Everything I mentioned above is what both me and Christian did in our relationship. All of these brought us closer and created moments of joy that can’t ever be expressed in words. So I challenge you to try them and see how it works for you in your relationship. You don’t have anything to lose, just to win. Please don’t take my word for granted and experiment by yourself, and see what happens.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope that you found in my ideas at least one thing that sparkled a glimpse of the desire to act and experiment. I opened the doors of my relationship to share with you something that made both Christian and I more connected and conscious about one another and our relationship. If we created such moments and experienced happiness and joy, you definitely can too.

Get out of your comfort zone and start expressing, start creating, and show your love. Be vulnerable, express your love, and you will be surprised to see how your relationship will evolve, and we will all enjoy a better world. If you ever thought about how to make the world a better place well now, you know how.

Love yourself,